she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
