I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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