accomplished twins. life is a go
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
