I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
