Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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