two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
