I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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