You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
