Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
