I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize