he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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