Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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