...so i touched it.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
