I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
And then he peed in my hair
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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