so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
