I want to have your abortion
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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