my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize