i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
