Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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