so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
