we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
