I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My hand turned me down
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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