There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
