Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
