I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize