so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
