I'm so fucking centered right now
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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