i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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