It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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