I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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