Taylor Swift is so right about you.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
