Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Randomize
