is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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