If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
ugly people sure do ruin things
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
