I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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