So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm really busy with my period
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