i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
