I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
