Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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