every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We were destined to go to rehab together
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize