I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
