im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Congratulations! We have a period
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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