Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize