I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
