Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
