Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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