the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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