you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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