Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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