why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
