So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
