My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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