New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Everclear isn't food dammit
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
