when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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