margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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