It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize