Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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