I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
