she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
