if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
