I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
