Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
