return my video game
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
