remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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