Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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