You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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